If He’s “Almost Divorced,” He’s Married

And Other Modern Dating Lies

By Forza Digital

In 2025, dating feels like a mash-up of LinkedIn, a shopping app, and a reality show nobody asked to be on. Everyone’s swiping, ghosting, posting Hinge voice prompts, or pretending Raya is a personality trait. Somewhere in there, you’re supposed to find someone normal. Spoiler: you won’t always. But here are a few lessons to keep you from wasting your best shoes on the worst men.

1. If he says he’s “almost divorced,” he’s married.

Not “emotionally available,” not “ready to move on,” just married. You’re not his new chapter, babe, you’re his transition plan.

2. Beware the man with a long list of “non-negotiables.”

If his non-negotiables read like a takeout order (chill, no baggage, hot but low-maintenance, available 24/7) the truth is he probably doesn’t know how to compromise, and definitely doesn’t know how to communicate.

3. If it feels hard early, it only gets harder.

The beginning is the easiest it will ever be. If you’re already exhausted, anxious, or negotiating basic respect by week two, you’ve seen the peak.

4. Pulling you away from friends, family, or your job is not romantic.

If he frames your independence as a threat, that’s not love, that’s isolation. The right person will want to be folded into your life, not replace it.

5. Don’t confuse money with stability.

It’s tempting to think the guy with the Amex has it together. But if you already make your own money, the question isn’t what he buys, it’s how he makes you feel. A generous man without wealth beats a wealthy man who makes you small.

6. “I’m not ready for a relationship” always has an invisible ending.

With you. He’s telling you what he means. Believe him.

7. If he calls all his exes “crazy,” take notes.

Men who only date “crazy women” are usually the common denominator.

8. Ghosting is clarity, not mystery.

You don’t need to decode silence. He didn’t lose his phone, he lost interest. That’s the answer.

9. Chaos is not chemistry.

The push-pull, the hot-and-cold, the adrenaline? That’s cortisol, not connection. Healthy feels calm.

10. Your best asset is your exit strategy.

Always know how to leave gracefully: Uber app open, location shared, excuse ready. There’s power in walking away while you still look good.

I’m not saying anything that the girlies don’t already know. Modern “dating” will test your patience and your willingness to keep up the practice, but knowing the rules makes it a little easier. And the rules are simple: believe men the first time, don’t romanticize red flags, and never waste an outfit on someone who couldn’t get a table if you weren’t standing next to him.