By Allison Luton, LSW

Forza Digital

The mental health and wellness space is louder than ever. There is constant advice, endless tools, and a steady message that you should be doing more to feel better. That’s not always true. 

What often gets lost is that mental health is not something to perfect. It is something to tend to over time, in the context of real life. As a licensed therapist and a human navigating stress, change, and uncertainty, I’ve learned that the most supportive habits are the ones that create room for authenticity rather than pressure. These are five practices I return to that support mental health in a way that feels grounded and sustainable.

1. Change the Goal from Perfection to Progress

You do not need to be calm all the time. You do not need a “before and after” picture of your mental health journey. Some days feel grounded. Others feel chaotic. That’s not failure, that’s human.

So instead of chasing perfect markers, I check in with myself honestly. Was today harder than yesterday? Probably. Did I handle it with more awareness than the day before that? That counts. Progress doesn’t have to be seismic to be real, and it rarely happens like a light switch. Rather, it happens in small moments. In the words of Olivia Dean, baby steps.

2. Build Mini Moments of Regulation into Your Day

You’ve heard breathing exercises before, and there’s a reason they stick around. Your nervous system responds best to simplicity, not complexity. A few intentional breaths, gently stretching your body out of tension, or stepping outside for fresh air are not big, dramatic strategies. They are small recalibrations you can return to throughout the day, no matter where you are or what’s going on around you.

I often recommend that clients try two minutes of a coherent breathing exercise in the morning and at night, or anytime anxiety starts to rise. This type of steady, rhythmic breathing helps signal safety to the nervous system and can reduce feelings of overwhelm before they spiral. It is simple, accessible, and does not require a lot of time. I practice this myself as well, especially on days where my anxiety or stress levels are high. Small moments like this add up, and over time they help create a greater sense of regulation and ease in the everyday.

3. Set Boundaries That Feel True to You

Boundaries are not punishment or distance for distance’s sake. They are about protection and clarity, and most importantly, they are for you. A boundary is an act of self-respect and preservation, not something you set to control or manage other people’s reactions.

This can look like not answering emails after a certain hour, asking for space without overexplaining, or choosing rest even when a part of you feels like you need to earn it. Boundaries help conserve emotional energy so you have more capacity for the things and people that matter most.

You may not feel comfortable setting boundaries in the moment. At first, they might bring up guilt, anxiety, or the urge to explain yourself. That is normal. Over time, though, boundaries tend to feel more natural. The more consistently you honor them, the more your nervous system learns that protecting your energy is safe. What once felt difficult often becomes steady, grounding, and deeply supportive.

4. Notice Your Emotions Without Judging Them

Feelings are not good or bad, right or wrong. They are information, and they are a normal part of the human experience. It is okay to feel anxious. It is okay to feel angry, sad, frustrated, or overwhelmed. 

Anxiety, in particular, is often the brain’s attempt to protect you from uncertainty, pain, or potential hurt. Your mind is trying to anticipate what might go wrong so you can stay safe. The challenge is that not knowing what comes next is genuinely hard, and anxiety tends to fill that unknown space.

You do not have to make uncomfortable feelings disappear in order to be mentally well. Sometimes, the most supportive response is being with them long enough to understand what they are asking you to notice. This is where coping skills come in. Coping is not about avoiding emotion, but about learning how to move through it without becoming overwhelmed by it.

Coping can look different for everyone. That might mean talking things through with a trusted friend or a therapist, going for a walk to help your body release tension, or journaling to get thoughts out of your head and onto the page. Other times, it may be stepping away from stimulation, grounding yourself in the present moment, or giving yourself permission to rest. These small practices help create space between the feeling and the reaction, allowing emotions to move through rather than take over.

5. Talk to Yourself Like You Would to a Friend

Criticism often feels familiar and automatic. Many of us speak to ourselves in ways we would never speak to a friend. We expect ourselves to handle everything better, faster, and with less emotion, even when things are genuinely hard.

What tends to help more is practicing the same tone you would use with someone you care about when they are struggling. A voice that is gentle, honest, and kind. This takes practice, especially if self-criticism has been your default for a long time, but it is a skill that can be learned and strengthened over time.

Supportive self-talk might sound like:

• “Today was tough, but you made it through.”

• “You do not need everything figured out right now.”

• “It is okay to rest.”

Being gentler with yourself does not mean lowering your standards or giving up. It means offering yourself the same understanding you readily extend to others. Self-talk is not fluff. It is a form of support you can carry with you every day, especially in moments when things feel heavy or uncertain.

There is a saying in therapy about meeting people where they are. Real progress often starts there. Mental health support works the same way when you turn that approach inward and allow yourself to begin exactly where you are, honoring your current capacity rather than forcing yourself toward an idealized version of wellness. 

This is your journey, and it does not need to look like anyone else’s to be valid or meaningful.